welfareloser: i’m having yet another homework argument with evilgremlin
welfareloser: he wears me out
welfareloser: his assignment: write down two questions you have about ants
vetresident: I’m sure he’s having a hard time limiting it to two
welfareloser: his response: i’m not writing anything, because i know everything about ants
vetresident: Well, of course he does
welfareloser: so i just got done convincing him to write down “how do ants tell each other stuff?”
welfareloser: even though he’s convinced they don’t.
vetresident: Well, how do they form a line then?
welfareloser: oooh, i’ll ask him that
vetresident: How do they build an anthill?
welfareloser: hey, i’ll be damned. that convinced him. he thinks they use their antennae to talk…
vetresident: Such great parenting skills I have
welfareloser: and i’m just begging him to shut up for two minutes and write down the damned question
vetresident: Why did the ant cross the road?
welfareloser: hahahhhahahahaha
vetresident: I bet his teacher just Looooves him
welfareloser: oh, fuck
welfareloser: we’re now yelling…
welfareloser: i said, how about, how long does it take ants to build an ant hill.
welfareloser: he thinks for a minute, and says, i think it’s an hour.
welfareloser: i said okay, you don’t know that. write down the question.
welfareloser: he said, oh, i know that. it’s an hour. i’m right.
vetresident: How long does it take 10 ants to eat an entire dead bird?
welfareloser: so i asked him if he wanted to stand here all night bitching about what he already knows or if he just wants to write down the goddamned question and be done with his homework…
welfareloser: and he says OKAY, OKAY… but i know it’s an hour.
welfareloser: i’m giving him your question now
welfareloser: he’s trying to come up with an answer…
vetresident: Hmmm… he seems to need a question that would have a long, convoluted answer
vetresident: I wait with bated breath
welfareloser: and i told him since he doesn’t know, he should just write down the question…
welfareloser: and we’re back on this shit again. apparently, the answer is 50 minutes.
welfareloser: “mom, if you keep doing this, i’m just going to write my own next question.”
welfareloser: “great! that’s an awesome idea!”
vetresident: Well – duh! Isn’t that the point?
vetresident: A sterling example of reverse psychology. Well done
welfareloser: “well, i’m definitely not letting you into my club.”
vetresident: There’s a club is there?
welfareloser: “MOM! why are you laughing about my club?”
vetresident: Can ants be in the club?
welfareloser: “because it’s funny that you won’t let me in it.”
welfareloser: “BECAUSE YOU’RE BEING MEAN!”
vetresident: Well that’s a given isn’t it?
welfareloser: “trying to help you with your homework is mean?”
welfareloser: “THE DEVILS ARE LAUGHING AT YOU RIGHT NOW!”
welfareloser: and now he’s mumbling to himself
vetresident: Wow. And this happens every second of every day doesn’t it?
welfareloser: he’s got some ueber-christian girl in his class who occasionally sends him home with fucked-up ideas…
welfareloser: and, yes. yes, it does.
welfareloser: heeeheheheheheheheee
welfareloser: i just asked if ants could be in the club
vetresident: It’ll be hard on him when he realizes that his parents are actually devil-worshippers and he is their spawn.
welfareloser: and he said, duh, of course not, because they don’t listen to people, and they don’t talk, AND THEY DON’T TELL EACH OTHER STUFF.
welfareloser: and they can’t be in clubs, not people clubs, they have to make their own clubs.
welfareloser: but james is in my club! but you’re not.
welfareloser: and with that… it’s fucking bedtime.
vetresident: OK – have fun with that.
IAlsoHaveADream: evilgremlin in bed now?
welfareloser: workin on it… we had to discuss the concept of “force”
welfareloser: i think i gave him a god complex…
IAlsoHaveADream: 
welfareloser: since he figured out that being able to jump makes him stronger than gravity
IAlsoHaveADream: Did you mention how weak gravity really is?
welfareloser: no, i didn’t
welfareloser: brb… brushing talky-talky’s teeth
IAlsoHaveADream: ok
welfareloser: hehehhehe… regarding your last question…
welfareloser: he figured out on the way to the bathroom that gravity was weak, because his hair always sticks up
IAlsoHaveADream: Nice.
IAlsoHaveADream: That didn’t take long.
welfareloser: nope
welfareloser: shit. evilgremlin just came down for water… and he remembered the sperm and egg question from earlier
welfareloser: SHIT! and he’s reading this over my shoulder
welfareloser: and cracking up over every “shit”
IAlsoHaveADream: We really shouldn’t say such naughty words.
IAlsoHaveADream: Well, YOU.
IAlsoHaveADream: Me? I can curse a blue streak.
welfareloser: hehehe
welfareloser: okay. got him back in bed
welfareloser: not that i mind telling him the sex thing…
welfareloser: i just need to clear half a day on my calendar for it
welfareloser: and it’s bedtime
IAlsoHaveADream: Yeah, there’s a world of questions there.
welfareloser: yep. also, i’d rather do it on a friday
welfareloser: so there’s a buffer
welfareloser: and less chance he’ll be telling everyone about it at school
IAlsoHaveADream: Proactive of you!
