Welfareloser's Blog

so there’s another family at the t-ball practices that i could have sworn i recognized, but, hey, we just moved here, so i couldn’t, right? wrong! not only did they used to live in urbana IL – in a neighborhood really close to ours – the dad graduated from the same MD/PhD program as PositiveRoleModel, and he’s now an ophthamology resident here. and this is how bad i am at face recognition: he was the resident who saw MonkeyBeef earlier in the year when i thought he had strabismus. “strabismus” is defined as “eyes that don’t look in exactly the same spot.” it requires medical treatment, possibly surgery. what MonkeyBeef has, however, is a non-problem that mimics strabismus, called pseudostabismus. “pseudostrabismus” is defined as “your eyes look unfocused, but actually you’re just struggling to look around that big nose!”

anyway. they’ve got 4 or 5 kids (who’s counting?!), all sweet and well-behaved and lots of fun, and roughly the same ages as ours, so we’ve been to not only the same t-ball for the 4-5 year-olds this spring, but also basketball and flag football for the 7-8 year olds last fall and winter, and god only knows how many other playgroups, sports, etc for the last 8 years. they’re funny as hell (the dad was pretty reserved the first couple of times we talked, but he loosened up quickly – like, some of the degenerate stuff he’s said in just the last couple of practices reminds me strongly of PRM) and it’s too bad we didn’t make them homies before now, but better late than never!

turns out their 8-year-old is a big pokemon fan like EvilGremlin, so EG really looks forward to the practices and games, and they sit and talk shop, or engage in a stream-of-consciousness dungeons-and-dragons-style pokemon battle. it’s a game EG has developed over the last year playing with the two girls who stay with their grandma next door after school: it seems to involve a loose accounting of hit points and damage points, and lots and lots of creative attacks and defenses that they act out while pretending to be various pokemon. EG and his new BFF also discovered another big-sibling pokemon fan at t-ball and pulled him into their game, improvising attacks like “poison crab apple throw” and “thunderfart.” and they’ve all promised to bring their pokemon cards to next week’s games and practices. i think we’re going to be starting up a weekly pokemon trading card game night in the loser household here soon.

but back to the tball. there’s lots of running to the wrong bases, forgetting to throw the ball to first base after catching it, dogpiles of every fielder trying to catch the ball, etc… i’m trying to talk DramaQueen out of his new bright idea, which is to interrupt his run to first base to grab the ball he just hit and throw it to the first baseman if his/her teammates aren’t quick enough to do so. but hey, the coach has yet to take a bat to the nutsack, so you won’t be seeing us on america’s funniest home videos! yet! there’s still three weeks left, and he’ll have to let his guard down eventually! i mean, 2 balls vs. 10 preschoolers with bats? not good odds.

EG’s pokemon homies are in the foreground. EG moved out of the frame at the last second to dig for candy in my backpack.