SpazMonkey was banging on the table with a large plastic mallet for no particular reason. i told him to stop. more than once. for about the third time in an hour, DramaQueen immediately started doing exactly what i had just told his brother to stop doing.
me: PUT the hammer DOWN NOW.
DQ: okay. why?
me: because i said NOT TO.
DQ: but you said it to SpazMonkey, not to me.
me: son, when i tell somebody NOT to do something, you DO NOT start doing it. when i tell one brother not to do it, i mean ALL THE BROTHERS. if you are going to start doing it again, you are going to be in TWICE as much trouble as the first brother i told to stop because you already DONE been told.
PRM: nice. should i get you some menthols and a tuna fish sandwich now?
DQ: weeeeell… then what can i hit with the hammer?
me: HOW ABOUT MY LAST NERVE?
DQ: right here? (hammer poised over my knee.)
me: that’s probably about right.
DQ: okay!
