if you watch enough tv – enough being an hour a week – you have seen the commercials for the stupid-ass blankets with sleeves in them. seriously… some motherfucker is getting rich off cutting two holes in a blanket and sewing sleeves to them. it comes in two varieties – the slanket, made of thick, fuzzy plush for $36.18 shipped, and the snuggie, made of not-so-thick fleece, $35.85 shipped for TWO SNUGGIES PLUS ACT NOW AND GET TWO FREE BOOKLIGHTS ABSOLUTELY FREE OH MY GOD I JUST WET MYSELF WOOOOO!!!
despite the fact that i loudly ridicule the damned things every time the commercial comes on (which is about every 15 minutes during any cartoon on any channel, as far as i can tell), EvilGremlin is convinced that he wants one. why wrap a blanket so you can use your hands… why put on a sweatshirt… when you can have a BLANKET/SWEATSHIRT HYBRID WITH A STUPID NAME? i dunno, folks; it just sells itself.
TexasRoadKill and MyEvilTwin got slankets for christmas. i told EvilGremlin about this and he just nodded knowingly and said, “yeah. somebody must love them VERY MUCH.”
dammit. i’ve waited the requisite 4-6 weeks from the first request to see if the fascination with the object in question would wear off, and it hasn’t. so… the boy gets his stupid-ass slanket. except that slankets were apparently hotter than cabbage patch kids at christmas 1983, because they’re freaking sold out. which makes me fear for humanity on several levels. i almost went with the snuggie, but dammit, we’ve already got 8 million pieces of shitty thin fleece in this house, and in the raging online debate over “slanket vs snuggie,” (the existence of which is another reason i fear for the future of our species) people overwhelmingly prefer the slanket. and i must say, the silky plushy fabric is really pretty nice… the kids currently line up on the sofa to share the one plush blanket we own (which works fine until MonkeyBeef decides he needs to share, too, which quickly turns into him yanking the blanket over the nearest brother’s head and sitting on him.)
so. my cheap-ass solution is the SNUGLET. i found a ruby red plush fabric on clearance for $3.25 a yard, and it’ll seriously take all of about 30 minutes per snuglet to cut two holes and slap on sleeves. so for just under $40 shipped and 2 hours of time, we’ll have 4 snuglets (because if EG has one, his brothers will suddenly desperately need them, too.) and the Loser Household Male Sexiness Quotient will skyrocket!
