so a while back, i was in the car with just EvilGremlin, and he asked what the bumper sticker on the car in front of us meant: “IT’S A CHILD NOT A CHOICE.” well, shit. he’s 10. he’s a very smart 10. he already knew that pregnancy absent modern medicine was the deadliest thing known to woman, and that it was still moderately dangerous even with modern medicine. he already knew that i narrowly missed bleeding to death after MonkeyBeef, needed two surgeries to repair the damage, and wouldn’t be having any more kids. so i explained what an abortion was, the reasons why women might choose to have them – their own mental illness or drug addiction, for example, or a situation like mine, where another pregnancy would almost certainly mean my death. then i explained why some people were against the idea of abortion unless the mother’s life was in danger, and some people were against it no matter what, and why it was such an intractable argument, with high emotions on both sides.
i thought i was doing a pretty good job of explaining the whole thing until he asked me why the hell i thought it was okay to be telling this to a ten-year-old. according to him, “you’re too young for that” was the correct answer to his question.
so the other day, on the way to the park, the twits saw one of those stupid political yard signs that was screaming in all caps “ABORTION KILLS CHILDREN.” (fuck you very much, by the way, to the dumb bitch who felt compelled to share that with anyone who wants to walk to the park. i’ll be sure to get you on every porn catalog mailing list, so you can fear letting your children walk to the mailbox for the next 18 years.) they, of course, wanted to know what abortion was, and why it killed children.
the twits are incapable of accepting “you don’t get to know that,” which is why, if you ask them for the definition of “abortion,” they will now explain that that’s when you wash down a pack of pop rocks with a diet coke.
because FUCK that. anyone who thinks its “wrong” to lie to your children just doesn’t have children that are old enough yet to understand why lying is, in fact, an AWESOME idea.
